so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
