I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
