puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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