I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
