Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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