Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
