Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
