Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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