that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
