Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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