After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
