no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
