we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Randomize
