I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Mom said you looked used
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
