found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
