two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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