I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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