Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
