but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
