When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
COCAINE IS GR8
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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