a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
