I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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