Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
