even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
