Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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