I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
