Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
