Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
