i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
