if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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