She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
