everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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