is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
