Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
