It's like a parade of train wrecks.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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