Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
