playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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