she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
