I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
