Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
