As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
