So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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