I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
