It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
