Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
