We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
