are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
His hands were made for my vagina.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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