Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
