what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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