rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
