I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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