Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drake has all the answers
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We smell like vodka and hangover
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