Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
