nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
