Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
