im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
