Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
