definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
